


Wherever You Are, There I will Be

by Ellen_Fitzwilliam_Brandybuck



Series: To Be or Not to Be, That is Their Question [7]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Betrayal, F/M, Falling In Love, Female Friendship, Friendship/Love, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Loss of Limbs, Love Confessions, Requited Love, Requited Unrequited Love, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Friendship, Romantic Soulmates, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Surprise Pairing, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:55:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29306883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellen_Fitzwilliam_Brandybuck/pseuds/Ellen_Fitzwilliam_Brandybuck
Summary: After the heartbreaking betrayal of a friend and the merciful loss of a limb, Ataashi Adaar must now choose the fate of the Inquisition, the next step in her relationship with Commander Rutherford, and offer some friendly advice to a certain Seeker regarding a mutual friend.Final piece in my Adaar/Rutherford self-challenge one-shot series, and features hints at other pairings I may or may not write on more later or that any others are welcome to take and run with.
Relationships: Branson Rutherford/Tallis, Cassandra Pentaghast/Varric Tethras, Donnic Hendyr/Aveline Vallen, Female Adaar/Cullen Rutherford, Female Inquisitor/Cullen Rutherford, Solas/Skyhold Surgeon
Series: To Be or Not to Be, That is Their Question [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2101113
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3
Collections: Coming to Fruition





	Wherever You Are, There I will Be

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place just after Trespasser, so spoilers await. I’m taking some liberty with the timing of certain events and moving around some of the game dialogue. And see if you can catch the return of certain characters from DA2. Cheers!

As a light breeze carried on it the scents of Orlesian nobles gathered in the courtyards below, Ataashi resisted the urge to scratch at a wrist that no longer existed. Clenching her right hand into a ball, she let it fall heavily on the stone railing in front of her. It was strange, these ghost sensations of irritation or pain, as if her mind had become so accustomed to the agony of the Mark over the last two years that it now spun in circles with the source no longer pulsating from her left hand. There was only air where her hand had been, her formal jacket sleeve rolled and pinned up “fashionably” to soften the look of her maiming, though it did nothing to soften the blow of the loss.

Taking in a deep breath through her nose, Ataashi closed her eyes as she hummed out the breath in a smooth motion that pushed the air from her lungs past her lips. It was a technique Vivienne had taught Sera years ago, and that Ataashi had inadvertently learned through her wayward friend. When the elf had nearly gotten them all killed on a mission, Vivienne had decided that although they’d all grown accustomed to Sera’s eccentric angry outbursts that were often murderous, on that mission any slight loss of control would’ve blown their cover. Seeing chaos coming to call without intervention, Vivienne had spent far more time with Sera than either the elf or mage would’ve preferred. But from it, Sera hadn’t killed them all, Vivienne had begrudgingly learned to appreciate specific nuances of Sera’s humor, and Ataashi had also learned a calming technique.

Ataashi continued the humming breaths. Soon she would face the Exalted Council and deliver the fate of the Inquisition. Only she had still not yet figured out what it was she wanted now. With the reality of Solas’ betrayal still taking root in their minds, Ataashi was now uncertain if ending the Inquisition was the best option. It was the choice she’d once told Cullen she’d make if given a chance, and he too had echoed his support. But that had been years ago, before Corypheus’ defeat, and in the time since there seemed to always be another rift to close or another post-Corypheus mess that needed the “Inquisitor’s mark” to smooth out. Before any of them had realized it, two years passed, and they were being summoned by Divine Victoria back to Halamshiral to determine the fate of the Inquisition. Only then the Dragon’s Breath affair and Solas’ duplicity had impeded a smooth meeting, and now the Council awaited her return to its chamber to finalize the decision.

“There you are,” Ataashi opened her eyes but didn’t turn to track Varric’s approach. He had been with her all the way to the end, faltering just as she at the shock of Solas’ treachery, and helping her back to Halamshiral once Solas disappeared through the last eluvian, leaving her without the Mark, and also nearly without an arm. “Good,” Varric stopped beside her and turned to lean his back against the railing, his shoulder almost brushing against her hip, “take all the breath you need, Comtess.”

Ataashi quirked her eyebrows upward as she rocked back on her heels, “What?”

“Oh,” Varric grinned, “did I forget to mention that I awarded you lands in Kirkwall? They’re actually pretty nice, for Kirkwall. Oh, and a title. Is Comtess enough for you?” Varric chuckled at Ataashi’s continued look of abject confoundment, “Shokrakar told me to tell you she’ll never call you Comtess Adaar, though.”

“Shokra-…title…Kirkwa-what are you talking about, Varric?” Ataashi scratched at the base of her left horn. “I feel you’ve started a conversation in your head, and I’m only hearing the last half of it.”

“Well, as you know, they elected me the Viscount of Kirkwall.” Ataashi nodded, still finding amusement in the past election. “Seems being the person with the only money and initiative to rebuild has its curses, and now I have the power to abuse my position and give shit to my friends.” He waved in the air between them. “So, the Valo-Kas are now an official part of the Kirkwall City Guard, much to my good friend Aveline’s delight and her husband Donnic’s amusement. And much to my seneschal Bran’s chagrin, I would like to gift you with this along with your title and lands.”

Ataashi accepted the ceremonial key he held out to her, still befuddled, “What is this?”

“The key to the city.”

Her eyes widened, and she adjusted her hold on the key as if it were about to explode, “What?”

“Apparently, it is also the key to control the harbor gates, so you’ll be sitting doubly pretty in Kirkwall, with the lands and title, and now that key.” Ataashi tilted her head and continued to stare at Varric until he sighed and scratched the back of his head, “I just wanted to let you know that no matter what happens with the Council today, you will always have a place in Kirkwall, okay?”

Her emotions still tumultuous after the encounter with Solas, Ataashi knelt and opened her eyes before she could think better of the decision. Varric didn’t seem to mind the potential awkwardness of it, however, and quickly stepped into the embrace, tucking his head over her shoulder as his strong arms wrapped around her torso.

“You never have to feel alone, Ataashi.” He pulled away and wiped away the wayward tear that leaked out of Ataashi’s eye. “I’ll always have your back.”

Ataashi nodded, “Thank you, Varric.” She held the key between them, “But I think you should take this back.” When he looked ready to argue, Ataashi dropped it into his hand and continued, “I’ll keep the title and the lands, and I thank you for employing the Valo-Kas, but I really think your seneschal would rather you kept a hold of this than me.”

“Very well. Bran really can be quite a dud to talk to, naggy too. Returning this might keep him quiet for a while longer.” Varric tucked the key into a pocket and leaned back to study Ataashi, “How’re you feeling?”

“Better now, thanks to you.” Ataashi placed her hand on her knee and pushed. She still wasn’t used to movements with one arm, and it was often the simplest things, like standing up, that threw her off balance. Thankfully, it was only Varric this time who saw her sway to adjust equilibrium before shaking her head and planting her feet once more firmly on the terrace.

“Ah, Inquisitor.” Leliana caught their attention as she strode onto the terrace, carrying with her a large tome. “May I have a word before you return to the Council?”

Varric offered Ataashi a playful salute, “And that’s my cue to go find a certain Seeker to harass.” He nodded to Leliana on his way past.

“How are you feeling?” Leliana asked once they were alone.

Ataashi sighed. She supposed she would have to get used to that being the first question asked by basically everyone for the next few hours, if not days, months, years. Whispers of her maiming had already woven their way through Halamshiral, and before retreating to this terrace for a few private moments, Ataashi had run into more than a few of the Inquisition’s allies, all of whom asked after her health in various ways. Ser Michel had been the most delicate in his question, no doubt due to Rosalie de Chevin, nee Rutherford’s presence by his side. The couple had been married for almost a year now, and Ataashi couldn’t have been happier for them. But it wasn’t the marriage of his youngest sibling to an Orlesian chevalier that Cullen had taken the longest to adapt to, but the sudden appearance of Branson’s son by an elven Qunari assassin. The boy had been left with a note at Branson’s home, identifying the boy as Caleb, reminding Branson of when the dalliance had happened, and letting Branson know that he would have full custody of the child for the next few years until Tallis felt it appropriate to reabsorb the child into her lifestyle. The whole Rutherford clan had been left in a tizzy with the revelation, nearly dwarfing the ecstasy of Rosalie’s marriage, before Mia stepped forward and took Caleb into her household. Branson offered no protest, not that the man—still reeling and now missing some months later—would’ve offered much by way of a fight.

Aware that she had yet to answer, Ataashi forced a half-smile, “I will recover. We all do after such events. We either recover, or we die.” She glanced down at the tittering nobles, both sickened and reassured by the normalcy that continued in this place despite recent events. They either hadn’t the slightest notion how close to devastation they’d really come under the Dragon’s Breath threat, or they didn’t care. And now, with Solas’ impending threat of annihilation on her shoulders, Ataashi felt nothing but pitying disgust for these people. “How about you? It must be strange to be here after so many years, all of us on the cusp of a momentous decision.”

“The first time I came to the Winter Palace, I was only 18. Such rich hangings, splendid marble columns, and more golden lions than I could count, they all dazzled me.” Leliana shook her head, her eyes having strayed over the same courtyard as Ataashi. “It’s all still here, still bright, but I no longer see that same palace. Everything changes, people most of all, and now all I can see are the knives in the shadows and the poison in jewel goblets.”

Ataashi nodded, “It was always there. You just have a greater awareness of it, and that will protect you in the future. And protect any you work with.”

“I could say the same of all of us, with Solas’ betrayal being made known. The cut from his knife has gone deep, that is true, but the scar will serve as a reminder for many years to come.” Leliana’s voice was even as she indicated a group of nobles moving towards the Council chamber. “They seek to tear the Inquisition down. You feel it, no? Their fear.”

“Well,” Ataashi shook her head, “there’s much more that howls in the night than the Inquisition now. I believe it is our vault of secrets that they fear, not our soldiers.”

“They’re afraid of nothing so much as the hand that directs it all.” Leliana set the tome on the railing between them and placed her hand atop it. “Already, your actions have reshaped Thedas. Your influence is felt everywhere. It was only a matter of time.” A raspy laugh escaped her throat along with a sly smile, “I’m surprised they took this long.”

Ataashi tested the waters with her advisor, “I’ve thought that it may be time to end things.”

“You’re ending the Inquisition?” Leliana’s eyes widened.

“We set out to restore peace, and now peace is upon us, if even in its illusionary form.” Ataashi would’ve used both her hands to wave in the air between them as was her habit when speaking, but, alas, only the one moved properly while her stump shifted forward uselessly. Leliana’s eyes were drawn to its movements, and a frown tugged at her lips as Ataashi went on, “I know from experience how hard it can be to lay down your blade and accept that things have changed. But that time can come. I believe it may have come already.”

Leliana looked from the stump to Ataashi’s face, “You believe we can still work for the good of Thedas without the Inquisition?”

“With Solas out there biding his time before he strikes, I believe it may be for the good of Thedas to disband an official foe to his effort and resort to spies, not unlike those within his ranks, to prepare for what’s coming next.”

Nodding, Leliana reached out to lightly touch Ataashi’s shoulder, “You have suffered terrible things, Inquisitor. I hope you still see the light ahead of us. Like you, the world is ready to move past the horror of the Breach and carry on, and so should we all.” She dropped her hand and gave another firm nod, “Whatever you decide, I will be honored to stand beside you.”

Her advisor turned to leave, but Ataashi stopped her with a question, pointing to the tome, “What is this?”

“Do you not recognize it?” Leliana’s smile grew at Ataashi’s look. “From Haven, when this all began?”

Ataashi’s eyes widened as she dropped her hand onto the book that had started everything. She still remembered the resolve in Cassandra’s voice as the Seeker spoke of having no other choice but to declare an Inquisition; how one by one, her advisors had been convinced of the necessity, Leliana sending out her ravens, Josephine her missives, and finally the sound of Cullen’s hammer as it nailed the treatise to Haven’s entry, the nail hammering into her heart with the same finality as it drilled through the wooden door. Ataashi looked back to Leliana and found her advisor still smiling.

“I thought you would appreciate the memories as you think and weigh in on the future.” Leliana bowed her head in respect before leaving Ataashi alone on the terrace.

On the wrist that was no more, Ataashi felt Solas’ grip as he took hold of her and aided in the first use of the Mark in closing a rift. Her tongue remembered the taste of Varric’s swill the first time he shared it in the field on one of their terribly long missions in the Hinterlands. The remembered banter between Dorian and Sera would long amuse Ataashi as well as the endearing disdain being dealt out as currency by Vivienne at Skyhold. And until her death, the scent of leather and elderflowers would remind her of Cullen and bring with it the bitter now sweet difficulties of their early relationship. Her ears still rung with Dagna’s laughter whenever she was given more fodder for her experiments, and Ataashi would never thank Harding enough for all the arrows the dwarf saved Ataashi and her companions from by clearing out as many foes as possible before their arrival. So many people had sacrificed so much for the Inquisition. They had only been successful in the end because of those sacrifices.

With Corypheus defeated, Vivienne had been declared Divine Victoria, and Thedas had resumed a semblance of new normalcy in the two years since. The Inquisition had continued on past its necessary use, Ataashi now believed, using the excuse of the anarchy left behind by Corypheus as an excuse to continue on. And in their efforts to right the world back to order, Solas had abused their friendship, biding his time as he gathered his own duplicitous allies, using the Inquisitions resources against them. And now, with Solas on the lam as their inevitable nemesis, they still needed such allies, the networks of spies, and resources, but keeping things as they were would only continue to serve Solas’ purposes. They needed a change—something he wouldn’t expect.

Her no-more wrist pained her as Ataashi picked up the tome and put it under what was left of her left arm. It was time. Turning on her heel, Ataashi strode confidently down numerous corridors until finally, a chevalier opened the last barrier between her and the Council. Josephine stood alone before the Council, pleading its cause. Cassandra stood to the side, her hands clasped together in front of her body, with Varric standing close by, looking ready to step in and hold the Seeker back if necessary. The Council’s voices died down, and Josephine looked a mixture of shocked and thankful at Ataashi’s sudden appearance when she came to stand next to the Antivan ambassador.

Pulling the tome out from under her maimed arm, Ataashi held it up for the Council to see, “You all know what this is?” A murmured gasp went through the hall. “A writ from Divine Justina authorizing the formation of the Inquisition. For those in need of the reminder, we pledged to close the Breach, find those responsible, and restore order. With or without to anyone's approval.” She turned on her heel and appreciated her height difference as it allowed her to stare down literally and figuratively at the crowd as she continued. “It wasn't a formally authorized treaty that saved the Ferelden people, and it wasn't careful diplomacy that ended your inane civil war in Orlais. It was never about the organization; it was about people doing what was necessary. If the Inquisition now threatens the very stability it helped create, it is clear our time is done.” Another gasp rippled through the crowd, but Ataashi easily spoke over them. “We will not become what we once fought against; we do not have the luxury of corruption and complacency. If this organization has become too large to do its job, there is only one solution.”

Ataashi turned to Josephine, and as much as she wanted to drop the tome at the feet of the Council, she refrained and instead handed it off to her now-former advisor. “As of today, we have fulfilled the pledge we took years ago, and now the war is over for most of us. It is time for our soldiers to sheath their swords and go home to the lands the Inquisition helped save.” She bowed her head to Josephine and saw unshed tears brighten the woman’s gaze. Turning to face the Council, Ataashi stood to her full height and tipped her chin up for further effect. “Effective immediately, the Inquisition is disbanded. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a world to save, again.”

After spying an appreciative smile almost hidden in the corners of Vivienne's lips as a silent response to her declaration, Ataashi walked away without a backward glance though she heard more than one person call her by name, including Cassandra. But she needed air. Now. It was done and with the bandage finally ripped off, Ataashi felt as if the smarting wound would bleed for a time but heal stronger for it. She continued walking until she found herself at the stables. It took only a few moments more, and then she was astride her hart, riding towards the official palace forest. Ataashi had no intention of running away, as much as she might like to. There was still much to be done now that they had announced the disbandment, not failing to mention the preparations for what was coming next. No, she just needed more room to breathe, away from Orlesian perfumes and Fereldan snobbery.

Ataashi rode along the manicured forest paths until she found herself next to one of the many old elven pools that dotted the landscape throughout the forest. Dismounting her hart, Ataashi again felt a ghost sensation from her missing limb as the elven statues' smooth lines reminded her of her former friend. Or was he friend still? Ataashi frowned as she approached the pool and dipped her hand into its calm waters. He had sounded genuinely reluctant at the idea of destroying her and the rest of Thedas in his efforts to restore his people, and yet even with that regret, he had sounded resolved. She took a sip of the water, tasting its unique sweetness. Ataashi couldn’t understand how so much dissonance could exist within one elf’s brain, as if equal parts sweet and bitter could exist within this very water.

Her hart snorted, alerting her to another rider’s approach. Curious if her thoughts straying to the Dread Wolf could conjure him, Ataashi momentarily wished she’d kept her dagger strapped to her back. When Cullen astride his trusted mare rode into view, the desire changed from potential violence to one of desired affection. Only briefly had they met since she’d returned through the eluvian and with such an audience as they’d had, neither had felt comfortable discussing the loss of her arm publically. Although all her advisors and friends knew of their relationship, they’d kept it mostly private and away from the loose lips of gossips within the rest of the Inquisition’s ranks. Not a small feat considering for the past two years he’d all but moved into her tower, and she could count on one hand the number of nights they’d spent apart, as increasingly after Corypheus’ defeat, Cullen had taken to going with her on missions.

Ataashi offered him a welcoming smile as she settled more comfortably on the pool's stone edge, “Remember the first time we came to the Winter Palace?”

“All too well,” Cullen grimaced as he dismounted and tied his mare next to her hart. Studying his approach, Ataashi noted that not much had changed in his appearance in the two years since Corypheus. Perhaps a few more wrinkles near his eyes, and, as she observed this afternoon, the stubble on his face had grown thicker. It had become their habit for her to shave him as they shared a bath, but in the past few days, so much had happened they’d been unable to have that intimate time together. Cullen pulled off his gloves and tucked them into his belt. “I've already answered a half dozen questions about my personal life. And I do believe, despite knowing certain private details of said personal life, Josephine is enjoying teasing me by introducing various nobles who would like me to meet so and so and do such-and-such.”

Ataashi laughed, patting the stone beside her and waiting till Cullen joined her before she replied, “The reason we're here is because we made a difference. That's worth enduring the political small talk, no?” Cullen heaved a dramatic sigh but nodded. Ataashi took his hand and squeezed, “But you're still glad I'm here to rescue you.”

“Very much so.” Cullen pulled her hand up to his lips, where he placed a light kiss.

The air between them turned more serious, but Ataashi wasn’t ready for that yet and so stalled further. “Is there any news from Ferelden? How is your family? Has anyone heard from Branson lately, or is he still missing?”

“Mia is training my nephew to best me at chess.” Cullen sighed again but humored Ataashi, for the time being at least. She knew he would eventually turn the conversation back to why he’d pursued her out here, and when he did, she would be ready. “And her letters are growing increasingly aggressive in her claims that he’s already more than a match for my skills, as ‘pitiable’ as they are as she describes.”

“I sense a threat to my commander's chess superiority.” Ataashi leaned more solidly against Cullen’s side, “I'm sure the defeat will be distressing.”

“Your confidence in my skills is one of your most becoming qualities, Ataashi, you must know that.” Ataashi barked out a laugh and felt Cullen chuckle by her side. “Aside from that, there’s been no mention of Branson. No doubt he’s still off looking for Tallis to confront her about Caleb, and if she truly is as elusive as he made her out to be, it may be years before we hear from him or see any evidence of her. In the meantime, Caleb appears to be happy enough with Mia and the others. And Rosalie is as fit as can be with Ser Michel, though there is the matter of where they will settle now that the Inquisition has been disbanded.”

Ataashi nodded, “Yes.” After another moment, she gave a half shrug, “I suppose they could continue on at Skyhold.”

“Why would they want to? It served us well as a fortress against attack from Corypheus, but it is far too isolated for the routine daily life that they may prefer now that there is no organized force standing against Solas.” Cullen leaned away and used his free hand to turn Ataashi’s face towards him. “Unless you plan on standing against the Dread Wolf in a more unofficial capacity?”

Ataashi looked around at the pool, taking in the elven details, and wondering if the infamous Fen’harel could listen from great distances if one was near one of the ancient places of his people. Cullen followed her gaze and sighed, understanding her paranoia without having to press further. He dropped his hand from holding her chin to her left shoulder. Ataashi stiffened but didn’t pull away and even nodded in reassurance as Cullen’s hand moved over her shoulder and down her arm, his fingers pressing through the fabric as he felt for where her limb now ended just at the elbow.

“Serilda said even her amputations, as clean as they are, couldn’t have made a more humane separation as what Solas did,” Ataashi spoke once Cullen’s hand reached the end of her limb.

Cullen swallowed, “Does it still pain you?”

“No,” Ataashi sighed, “I sometimes feel as if my hand was still there and memories of pain touch my mind, but there is no discomfort where it was separated. In fact,” Ataashi shifted to face Cullen more fully, “if you help me with the buttons, you can see.”

Cullen’s eyes widened, and he withdrew his hand, “Only if you-“

“Cullen,” Ataashi grabbed his hand and placed it at the buttons securing her collar, “I need you to see. We are going to have to live with this,” she took a deep breath and slowly let it out as Cullen’s fingers began to work at the buttons of her formal jacket, “and there’s no point in dancing around the obvious. I don’t have an arm, but I am still me. I’ll have to learn how to fight with just the one arm, and no doubt I’ll need your help with that.”

Cullen smirked, “I would think learning to get dressed would come before learning to fight.” He paused then, suddenly unsure if his humor was ill-timed, but seeing Ataashi’s smirk had him sighing and resuming his work. He worked in silence for the pace of three more buttons before he spoke again, “I’m not sure you want to hear this just yet, but Dagna has mentioned several devices she’s made in the past for veterans that allowed them to have a blade extension or some other tool, like a hammer, secured to their arm.” He finished with the buttons and helped Ataashi slide the jacket off her left shoulder. “Harritt offered to help her with the crafting if that sounds like something you’d like done.”

“Perhaps,” Ataashi shifted again on the stone so Cullen could see clearly. Her undershirt had been likewise pinned up, and if he wanted to see the flesh, he would have to unpin it. Studying his face at this moment, however, clued Ataashi into his hesitation to explore further. She understood and appreciated it, considering she felt vulnerable to him now in a way she’d never felt before. “Please tell Dagna to come see me once we finish all the details with the Council.”

Nodding, Cullen reached out and placed his hand under her elbow, raising the limb upwards then gently lowering it again. His touch was tender, and though it was still a shock to her system, no longer having her arm, it was comforting to have his touch as he accepted reality alongside her. Cullen looked back to Ataashi and leaned in, pressing a light kiss to her cheek. She bowed into his touch, pressing her forehead against his and breathing in.

“I love you, Ataashi,” Cullen whispered, the breath of his words fanning across her cheeks. “Nothing will ever change that.”

Ataashi felt tears prick her eyes for the second time that day, and emotion clouded her voice when she could finally reply, “Oh Cullen, I love you too.”

They remained like that for as long as they felt they could get away with, without causing someone from their own group or the Council to come looking for them. When they felt it was time to return, Cullen helped Ataashi back into the formal jacket with gentleness, soliciting an eye roll and a chuckle from her when he placed a playful kiss on the end of her nose once he finished his work. He waited until she signaled for aid before stepping in to help her with mounting her hart and was astride his mare moments after she was settled.

“Oh,” Ataashi broke their companionable silence once they were on their back to the Palace, “did you know Varric made me a comtess?”

Cullen’s eyebrows shot up nearly to his hairline, “What? In Kirkwall? Can he do that?”

“If there was ever a rule that said he couldn’t do it, he broke it because Varric told me just before I met with the Council of my title and apparently the modest-sized lands he’s set aside for me.” Cullen shook his head and laughed at the audacity of their mutual friend. “It seems he wanted to ensure I had a place to go once this was all over, if things didn’t turn out as I wanted with the Council.”

“Would you want to use those lands or the lands near the lake for the veteran’s retreat?”

Their mutual dream of distancing themselves from the limelight of the Inquisition had grown stronger over the years. They had often fallen asleep describing their hopes and expectations for what the retreat would look like, how it would be run, and the results they hoped would come of it. The dream had already born fruit through networked resources and individuals who promised their talents whenever they had the retreat started. Serilda had been the first to approach Ataashi directly, somehow finding out about the dream from Cullen, and had told, not asked, Ataashi that she would be one of the resident healers at the retreat once they started it. Ataashi was thankful for the woman’s continued dedication and was not surprised at her interest in remaining close to Ataashi. Not only for their mutual interests in healing and deepening friendship but also for Ataashi’s unique tie to Solas. It seemed Serilda was not yet through with Solas, whatever that entailed. The surgeon looked more and more tired these days, confessing to sleepless nights filled with dreams of giant wolves and wished-for memories. Ataashi never pressed for more details and hoped with time she could offer more comfort for the surgeon.

Ataashi gave a half shrug, “I’ve never seen these lands in Kirkwall, so I can’t say rightly either way. We’ve both envisioned something near the lake all these years, so I think for now, we should continue to focus there." Tipping her head to the side she smiled, "Maybe we could use the lands in Kirkwall for a second location of similar ilk if the one next to the lake grows too crowded.”

Cullen nodded, “Agreed.” He also tipped his head to the side then, “Oh, what did you tell Sera when she invited you to join the Red Jenny’s? You never told me.”

“I told her I’d think about it. And now, with the disbandment, I think I’ll accept the offer.” Ataashi felt freer to talk about their future offensive plans against the Dread Wolf now that they were out of the forest and the Palace was in sight once more. “We will need as many allies as we can get, working more behind the scenes in an ‘unofficial’ capacity to prepare for his next move. I think the Red Jenny operation would be perfect for that.”

“I’m not in disagreement,” he lowered his voice as they passed the sentries, “only perhaps see Dagna and learn a few new tricks before going out in the field again.”

“Of course,” Ataashi smiled at his concern, feeling warmth spread in her belly every time he put her wellbeing as a priority, reminding her that their relationship was secure. She looked forward again and inwardly sighed at the sight of Cassandra pacing back and forth by the steps leading up to one of the outer courtyards. It seemed they’d been away longer than was acceptable. “I’ll meet you in a few hours, I suppose,” she murmured to Cullen as they drew closer.

Cullen, spying the frown on Cassandra’s face when he saw her, nodded and quickly turned his mount towards the stables after accepting Ataashi’s reins once she dismounted. Ataashi tugged at the hem of her jacket, pulling it down into place, before turning to face Cassandra.

“Cassandra, is everything all right?” Ataashi watched as Cassandra opened and closed her hands and obviously resisted the urge to cross her arms over her chest.

“Yes,” Cassandra startled at the sharp sound of her own voice and attempted to sound more friendly when she spoke again, “yes, well, I wanted to speak with you, and now you're here.” She abruptly turned and paced back to the stairs, leaving Ataashi with the choice to follow or stand her ground. Considering how discombobulated Cassandra seemed, Ataashi trailed at a distance.

“This seems serious-“

Cassandra cut off Ataashi before she could ask if it had something to do with the Council, “It's not about me.” Ataashi raised an eyebrow. Definitely not what she’d been thinking. “It's about you.” The other eyebrow joined the first as Ataashi studied Cassandra in confusion. The Seeker gestured to the stairs, “Maybe you should sit?”

“I can stand.”

“Maybe I should sit.” Cassandra marched to the steps and plopped down with far less finesse than normal. Ataashi couldn’t help but follow again, sitting close but not within striking range of her friend, just in case. “Inquisitor, I want you to know that I am your friend. I will always be your friend.”

Ataashi was curious now if Cassandra was about to tell her of intentions to return to Nevarra now that they disbanded the Inquisition. “Oh, well, that's-“

“So, I hope to give you sound advice on this momentous day.” Cassandra really was in a hurry to confuse Ataashi about whatever it was she was talking about, as she had yet to give Ataashi time to finish a sentence. “Do what is in your heart, my friend. No matter what anyone might tell you.”

Was Cassandra talking about the disbandment? Was she referring to the dream neither she nor Cullen had made entirely public but had somehow gotten wind of? Ataashi scratched the base of her left horn and smiled, “That's a lovely sentiment, Cassandra-“

Cutting her off again, Cassandra reared back as if Ataashi’s words had struck her, “Marriage is much more than a lovely sentiment, Inquisitor.” Ataashi’s eyes widened, and this time Cassandra didn’t have to cut her off as Ataashi had nothing to say. “Cullen is not hard on the eyes, I'll give him that, but if you truly intend to-“ Cassandra seemed to, for the first time, notice that Ataashi’s reactions were not in response to trying to hide a secret but in being in a state of utter confusion. Cassandra’s eyes narrowed, and she tipped her head back, “You're not proposing to anyone.” It was a statement, but Ataashi nodded her head nonetheless. Cassandra surged to her feet and clenched her hands into fists. “I am going to kill Varric! Why do I believe everything he says? Why?” She stomped her feet for added effect, and Ataashi had to clear her throat to hide the sound of her laughter.

“If you must know, Cassandra, I can see what Varric sees.” Her comment drew Cassandra’s scowl.

“What do you mean?” She looked ready to murder someone.

Ataashi gestured to the entirety of Cassandra’s physique and smiled, “Flustered looks good on you. And from what I know of Varric, he likes a good, flustered woman to keep him company.” Cassandra growled out a string of Nevarran curses, further completing the look Ataashi knew Varric adored seeing. “You know the garden would be perfect for a wedding.” Cassandra ceased her cursing and stared at Ataashi, “I’m certain Varric would think so as well.”

“What are you-“ Cassandra’s hand went to her throat as if Ataashi’s statement was threatening her ability to breathe.

“Cassandra, we don’t know what tomorrow holds.” Ataashi stood and again appreciated that her height allowed her to stare down at her friend. “And as you just told me, it is important to do what is in your heart.” She laid her hand on Cassandra’s shoulder and squeezed, “I’m sure mixed in with the murderous rage you feel towards Varric is an affection that could spell a lifetime of joy. And I believe you already know that, without having to ask or self-doubt further.”

Cassandra relaxed her stance a few breaths later and raised her hand to lightly rest of Ataashi’s forearm, “The Inquisition has brought you good things, many good things, but only a few have been by your choice. If you take what happiness you can from the days ahead and do not let them go, then I will as well.” Ataashi shared Cassandra’s smiled before letting go. Cassandra added, “That is all I meant to say. Advice from a friend for the days to come.”

“Consider it going both ways, my friend.” Her eyes strayed over Cassandra’s shoulder, and she smirked when she spied an unsuspecting Varric walking through the courtyard with Rainier. “Now, I think we both have important conversations that must be had.”

Cassandra looked over her shoulder, spied Varric, and gave Ataashi a firm head nod. Swiveling on her heel, Cassandra marched up the steps towards Varric with the same steely resolve as Ataashi had seen the Seeker use against dragons and demons. Ataashi lingered long enough to notice the moment Varric noted Cassandra’s approach, how his eyes widened and his whole body tensed, besides how Rainier suddenly found a passing butterfly increasing fascinating and quickly took off to chase it. Smiling to herself, Ataashi moved down the walkway back towards the palace’s interior. She wanted to finish more of Divine Victoria and the Council's demanded details before she sought Cullen again.

Some hours later, tired mentally and emotionally from all the negotiations, Ataashi finally had the time to seek Cullen. They would need to remain at Halamshiral only a few days longer before they could disperse to the various corners of Thedas desired. As of this day and hour, former members of the Inquisition were already leaving their ranks and finding positions elsewhere. Leliana spoke with certain individuals as they left, getting promises and passcodes from them for their unofficial spy network, but many others they let go without further requests. The road they'd fought down had been hard on them all, and many truly wanted to find what rest they could for what remained of their lifetimes.

The sound of excited barks had Ataashi quickening her steps to where she’d been told Cullen had been last seen. The barks had been deep and rumbling, not unlike a Mabari war hound. And not exactly the sound one would expect to hear here. Rounding the corner, Ataashi stopped to watch as Cullen tossed a ball at a giant hound, not bothering to hide her amusement when the ball bounced off the hound’s forehead and rebounded off Cullen’s chest.

“You’re to dodge that.” Cullen bent to grab the still bouncing ball. “If that had been a fireball, you'd be dead.” He looked past the slobbering, barking hound and smiled when he saw Ataashi draw closer.

Ataashi gestured to the hound, “You found a dog.”

“They don't breed Mabari in Orlais. The merchant said he was abandoned. Perhaps his owners tired of the novelty.” Cullen attempted to toss the ball again, and this time the hound caught the ball and bit down, slicing the object in two, all the while its body wriggling with puppy-like excitement.

Ataashi knelt and scratched behind one of the hound’s ears, “Who could tire of you with that positive attitude and fetching ability?” The hound, liking her affection so much, dropped into her lap, knocking Ataashi onto her rear and earning laughs from both Ataashi and Cullen. Not bothered by the change, Ataashi continued to scratch and pet at the giant puppy while Cullen knelt at her side.

“He's not supposed to fetch it.” He picked up the ball’s remains and frowned.

Ataashi laughed, “I don't think you understand how this works.” Cullen rolled his eyes. “Fireball training?” Ataashi indicated the remains in his hands, her amusement lacing her voice.

“I figured Mia could take care of him until things get settled. One never knows with the children.” Ataashi didn’t hide her surprise. Cullen continued, “Another Ferelden trapped at the Winter Palace? I couldn't leave him to that fate; besides, I think he likes me.” Cullen’s hands joined Ataashi’s in the pets and scratches, all the while the hound continued to writhe and moan in delight as if all its life it had been starved for this very affection.

“Beware,” Ataashi leaned down and brushed her nose over the hound’s cheek, “Mia might try to spoil you.”

Cullen took hold of the dog’s ear and leaned close, “You remember who you report to.” The hound barked and rolled onto its back, seeking more affection from them both.

“Is this your first dog?” Ataashi found as much enjoyment in watching the delight on Cullen’s face as he continued to pet the hound as she did in listening to the happy sounds coming from the animal.

“Actually, yes.” Cullen paused then and looked to Ataashi as if a sudden thought occurred to him, “I mean, do you like dogs?”

Ataashi shrugged, “I’ve never had a pet. Dog or otherwise.” She reached out and took Cullen’s hand, “But I’m glad you saved him.”

Cullen squeezed her hand before standing up, tugging her to her feet as well. The hound seemed content to continue laying on Ataashi’s feet for the time being.

“Everything will change after this,” Cullen let go of Ataashi’s hand and ran his fingers through his hair, “I"m not yet sure what that will mean. Still, I found certainty in my life now. The end of the Inquisition won't change that.” His gaze was warm when they traveled up her body, and his smile full of love when he spoke again, “Marry me.”

So soon after her conversation with Cassandra, it took Ataashi a moment to comprehend what Cullen had indeed just spoken, “What?”

“What I mean,” Cullen rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, “will you,” he dropped his hands and sighed, “I had a plan, and there wasn't a dog, but you, eh,” he reached out and tugged her away from the dog so they could stand closer. “It doesn't matter. I've thought of little else, and I don't need a plan. I need to know if you would?”

Ataashi sighed out her joy as she leaned down and pressed her forehead to his, "I would, Cullen. I will.”

“You will.” Cullen’s voice sounded as joyful as Ataashi felt as he squeezed her hand and pressed his lips against hers in a chaste kiss. “People will notice the former-Inquisitor marrying her former-commander in the middle of the disbandment of the Inquisition.” He sighed, already tired at the thought of the whispered gossip. “It won't go over without significant rumors spreading.”

Ataashi chuckled, “Well, we know a few people who can keep things secret. And based on recent conversations, I feel like we won’t be the only ones seeking such privacy.”

“Oh?” Cullen tucked her hand into the crook of his arm as he led them both deeper into the garden. “Do tell.”

The ensuing double wedding had only the individuals required for witnessing the event. Dorian served as a witness for Varric and Cassandra, while Leliana served for Cullen and Ataashi. Cullen had remarkably brought the Rutherford family ring to the palace, for this very event, and it was placed on Ataashi’s right hand, for obvious reasons, while both Varric and Cassandra preferred to exchange necklaces. Cullen’s ring Ataashi had had fashioned some months earlier, though not precisely for this reason. It was made from the remnants of her horn that had broken off all those years ago when they’d been tossed into the bottom of that blessed sinkhole. Once she explained the material to him, Cullen had kissed her soundly again, earning a riotous laugh from Dorian. There was no feasting or unnecessary revelry, but that, of course, didn’t stop any of them from relishing the joy of the moment as the couples congratulated each other before going their separate ways. It was much later, once they were in bed with no clothing barriers between them, the hound snoring by the fireplace, that Ataashi stared at the ring on her finger, the immensity of it all settling comfortably on her heart.

Cullen lay by her side, his head pillowed on her chest, as his fingers continued to lazily trace up and down her stomach. Kissing the skin of her neck, he smiled, “Everything feels like it was worth fighting for.” He scooted closer and brought his arm over her chest, momentarily squeezing her tight, “We can enjoy this moment all the more because it was.”

“I believe every step I’ve taken in this life was leading me closer to you, Cullen.” Ataashi tipped her head to the side so she could look more fully into his face, “And every step after this day will be taken with you at my side. In name and body and soul.”

Cullen leaned up and drew her face close for a kiss. Long, lingering, thorough, it left them both breathless and eager for more. His playful smile slowed her traveling hands, and he chuckled as he explained his mirth, “I just realized I was kissing my wife. I rather like that.”

“Your wife would like more than kisses, husband, and now.” Ataashi pulled him atop her body and cupped the back of his neck as she angled them for a deeper kiss.

She felt his smile against her lips, and his breath was warm as he whispered, “Yes, dear.”


End file.
